T'was the night before Chri... I mean sonogram.

There has been so much happen in the past week that I'm not real sure where to begin on this blog. A few moments in particular stick out though. They are the ones that I referred to last time as my Blogging Moment!

I woke up and got ready for work, and noticed around 10:00am that it was going to be a very long day. I was so tired. It's funny when James will ask me, "How are you feeling?" My consistent response here of late has been, "Good. Just really tired." I think he is finally catching on that it isn't the lack of sleep I am getting that is causing my daze, but the fact that there is another human being growing inside of me. So funny. He keeps asking me if his snoring is keeping me awake at night, but I’m pretty sure that a train could come through my bedroom and I would sleep through it right now. This sleep is good. I won’t disagree.

Anywho, back to my first Blogging Moment! of the week. I meandered through the day, and reached my goal of 4:45 pm. I had set this goal around 10:00 that morning, and looking back, I'm not sure why. I suppose when you are in the trance at work where it seems like the hours are actually days, 4:45 sounds much better than 5:00. I compare it to saying that something is $99.99 instead of $100.00. It sounds better, right? (Wow, I am way off track tonight...) So, I make it to 4:45 and head to the pit of hell that we all have come to know as Wal-Mart. Here we are at 5:00, I mean, 4:45, on a school night and I decide to do purchase my laundry list of grocery shopping. I get in, and my plan is to look at the ground as I walk in hopes that I don't bump into anyone I know and spend one more second that I have to in the pit. Things are going great. I'm moving at a slower pace than usual, and am reminded every few minutes that I am starving. I keep thinking that my bill when I check out with most likely reflect the fact that my stomach is empty. I stuck to my list fairly well, but remembered upon checking out that I needed to purchase some plastic containers. You know- the ones that you give away when people come over for dinner and you send home leftovers? So I leave the checkout line and go to grab a few containers. If only it were that easy...

 I turn down the aisle, and automatically, it transforms into a mile long stretch with every possible storage container you could imagine. At this point, I'm tired, my feet hurt, my stomach is growling, I'm shaky, and I have to pee pretty bad. (Hey, if you've read this long, you should know you’re subject to TMI). So I compare boxes and take things off the shelf, put them in my cart, put them back on the shelf--- wash, rinse repeat. After literally about 10 minutes, I looked over and saw a pillar in the middle of the aisle. As if God had built this perch just for me, I leaned over onto it. I'm sure I looked like a creeper staring at the aisle of goodies, arms crossed and eyes closed, but I didn't care. Yes- you read that right. Eyes closed. I'm pretty sure time was creeping by, but I bet I stood there for a good 5 minutes with my eyes closed. I’m 99.9% (which we all know actually means 100% but it sounds better, right?) that I dozed off. Who does this? In the middle of Wal-Mart while standing up- I dozed off?!  It wasn't until I was startled by a woman behind me that I jumped forward, heart racing, and threw some containers in my basket. I chuckled to myself as I walked to the checkout line, and thought... Blogging Moment!

School started this week, as well as my practicum. I am incredibly nervous about my practicum, and will ask for prayer on that as well as Baby M. Many of you already know that I am in the Counseling and Development Program at TWU, but some of you may not. I have every intention of graduating in May 2012, and with the support of my family, it seems to be pretty feasible. I have a full time babysitter, who has reminded me that she is on call at all times if need be, so that helps a TON! (This of course is my mom who retired when I graduated from college so that she could raise her grandchildren. Uhm… here we are 3 years later, and she finally has one on the way! Lol)

As for my practicum, I am practicing at The Counseling Place in Decatur and am looking forward to it. I am apprehensive about my skills at this point, but I try to place my feelings of being inferior on the fact that I am inexperienced. Again, just pray for me. J

I do have one more Blogging Moment! Me and Jim went to dinner at the “new” Mexican food place in Paradise- (I’m sure it’s been there a year or so now, but we are just now making our way over there.) It was about 6:00 and I was kind of hungry so I ordered the taco dinner. I have noticed that I am having some issues eating meat this past week. It’s not that I don’t like it, I do! But even the thought of it- chicken, pork, beef, whatever- almost makes my stomach churn! I instantly have to think about eating fruit, veggies, or dairy in order to keep from making myself nauseous. Weird, right? Anyway, I know that me and Baby M need the protein hat meat provides, so I am extremely cautious about getting it from other areas. I actually tried some greek yogurt and really enjoyed it. (It has 12 g of protein!!!) So I thought I would brave the waters, and ordered a taco dinner.

I ate a few chips and a few bites of queso before our meal came and I felt great. Our waitress was incredibly sweet and compassionate. She brought our food out and then went to wait on her other customers. Jim dove into his meal as I prepared the taco I was going to force myself to eat. I added lettuce, tomato, and cheese as I was planning to devour this protein and as I went to put it up to my mouth, that icky feeling returned. I took one bite and I swear I chewed it 25 times before I could muster the power in my mind to swallow it.

James mentioned that it was all in my head and I thought I was going to throw my entire hot plate of food at him. I told him that I couldn’t explain it, but that I just couldn’t eat the plate of food in front of me. I picked at the beans and rice and planned to eat dinner with my mom and dad when we got home. (Perks of living close to Mama and Daddy!!!)  Here is where the Blogging Moment! comes into play. With one bite taken out of my chicken taco, our tender hearted waitress of about 60 years comes to our table and places her hand on my shoulder. She asked me if I didn’t like what she had brought out, and I immediately looked to James for an answer. We both hesitated and then answered her inquisition with the same response. I told her I was pregnant and meat just did not sound good at all! She laughed and repeated over and over that she understood. She congratulated me, and apologized to James over and over. I got the impression that she felt sorry for  him and the way she thought I might behave on our new journey. She gave some advice and tips for a long and loving marriage, and said that no matter what, it’s all worth it.  We all laughed and for the duration of our stay, she was incredibly attentive to my weak tummy. What an experience.

All funny ha ha’s aside--- tomorrow is a big day for me. It doesn’t seem as exciting to James and I am aware of his mind set enough to be okay with that. I know that although he is unaware of it at this moment, his heart will more than likely skip a beat when he hears his first born’s heart beating inside of me tomorrow. Although it is 80 degrees outside and crickets are chirping, I titled this blog, “T'was the night before Chri... I mean sonogram.” It truly feels like I am getting a huge gift tomorrow. I remember the night before Christmas when I got a new car. I was 17, and I kind of had inkling on Christmas Eve that I might wake up to a car in the driveway. I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I don’t think that will be the case this evening, but I do know that I will wake up with an anticipation that I’ve never had before. It’s hard to explain…

Sometimes, words can’t explain the feelings we have. This is one of those times. I have a feeling this feeling is going to come more and more often, and I welcome it! How anyone cannot believe in God when they have a precious life growing inside of them baffles my mind. (That’s a whole other can of worms!)

In closing, the next time I write in this blog, I will have seen and heard my son or daughter for the first time. I will never ever be the same. No matter what takes place for the rest of my life, I will never be the same after I see my little kidney bean. It feels like I am taking a leap into true adulthood. Yes I went to college, and yes I got married, but truly, I don’t feel grown up. After tomorrow, I feel that I will have successfully transitioned into adulthood. The ending of a chapter and the beginning of a new is here, and I’m not sure that I’ve ever, ever been more ready.

Keep praying.