Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Jeremiah 1:5

Does that say Pregnant?!

Hey y'all!!! I have had numerous people suggest that I keep a blog detailing the events that are to come within the next year of my life. Even though I am a full time grad student holding down a job, have an internship as a therapist, and am trying to keep my husband happy, I suppose I can make time for a blog. I plan to utilize this blog for my own selfish therapeutic purposes. Not to say that I will be the one in the therapists seat, but that you all get to see me lay on the imaginary couch, and hear my blessings, and complaints.

With that informal and boring introduction, I think I will begin by unfolding the event that took place yesterday morning. This is an event that I will never be able to erase from my memory, and for good reason!

At 7:30 in the morning, I realized that Aunt Flo hadn't made it into town yet. Not only was she not here, but she was about 4 days late! My feet hit the floor, and I scrambled around the bathroom to get a pregnancy test. James and I had secretly been trying to conceive for about 5 months, but hadn't shared our secret with anyone. Over the past 4 months, I had 4 failed pregnancy tests. Each one brought disappointment, and sadness. I can't describe the feeling a woman has when she yearns for a baby, but reads the negative results of a pregnancy test. It's heart wrenching. With my eyes semi-open, I opened the "Baby Test" from the Dollar General, (Hey, don't judge. Pregnancy tests are expensive!) and proceeded to relieve myself while testing to see if a life was growing inside of me. 

Once the "Baby Test" was saturated enough, I sat it on the floor, and finished my business. I went and washed my hands, and came back to find one dark red line, and one VERY faint red line. OMG!!! TWO LINES? Wait, the second one is faint, so what do I do? I go and get another one. Luckily, I had peed in a cup and reserved my specimen for a case just like this. I removed test number 2 from the plastic wrapper, (This test came from the hospital. Hey- I've got the hook up. Again, don't judge!) and with the plastic eye dropper full of pee, I filled the small sample hole and waited. Two lines appeared and it occurred to me... I DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ THIS!!! Obviously, hospital pregnancy tests don't come with instructions. My thought process was now this: If I use the Clear Blue Easy test that actually spells the words, "Pregnant" and Not Pregnant", then maybe I can get a definite answer. Three EXCRUCIATING minutes later, the most beautiful word in the English language was staring me right in the face: "Pregnant". 

Weeks ago, I had made arrangements to have pictures made of my belly to give to Jim to insinuate that I was pregnant when the time came. I had it ALL planned out. It was going to be the scene from a movie. Perfect, right? WRONG! I grabbed all three tests and frantically carried them to display to James, (Who by the way was eating cereal at the kitchen table), and plopped them down in front of him. He looked at me with question in his eyes and all I could do was point with one hand, and cover my mouth with the other. As tears streamed down my face, and I struggled to stand, he asked me if I was pregnant. Words were trying to come out, but all I could do was cry, and nod my head. He stood up, looked at the word, “Pregnant”, and grabbed me. In the back of my mind, I swear I could hear Brandon Rhyder singing, “Freeze Frame Time”, and as tears fell from both of us, time was indeed standing still. We savored the moment, and began imagining what life would be like in 9 months.